Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The MF Swine Flu

First SARS, then the bird flu...now, we've got the mf swine flu to avoid. Right as summer approaches, too. Ain't that some shyt?

What this really boils down to is...do you wash your hands or not? The nasty azz non-handwashers are generally the first ones touchin' shyt, tapping you on the shoulder, or shaking hands. FYI: I've banned all handshakes, anyway. You either get a chest bump or a quick head nod. If that's not enough,...fukubytch.

I struggle to understand how people choose NOT to wash their hands. Just ugh! This nasty shyt runs rampant at my workplace. I can't tell you how many meetings I've been a part of where these triflin' mfs reach out and grab a slice of pizza, touching more than one slice just to get the one they want.

This place is full of "UGH Moments." Please read and adhere to the following rules.
  • If your throat hurts, you have chills, or you have a fever, stay the fukk home. Don't ask, "Does my head feel hot?" If it feels hot to you, then it's hot. Stay the fukk home.

  • Don't come to work sick and then start complaining that you're sick. That what sick leave is for. Use it. Go in the hole if you have to. Just don't infect those of us who aren't sick.

  • Don’t ask for my food, even after I’ve already started eating it, and try to offer up your own half eaten food in exchange, that’s how germs are exchanged. And yes, folks do that here. Just ugh.

  • Don't touch anything in the bathroom (the sink, toilet, knobs, handles, etc.) and then come out and touch me, food, my chair, my keyboard, etc. That's an azz whippin'.
Why does it take an outbreak of the swine flu to get mfs into being clean?? There's soap, water, hand sanitizer, and all kinds of shyt. Just know that I mean it with all honesty and sincerity when I say...

...WASH YOUR MF HANDS, BYTCH!!