Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The MF Swine Flu

First SARS, then the bird flu...now, we've got the mf swine flu to avoid. Right as summer approaches, too. Ain't that some shyt?

What this really boils down to is...do you wash your hands or not? The nasty azz non-handwashers are generally the first ones touchin' shyt, tapping you on the shoulder, or shaking hands. FYI: I've banned all handshakes, anyway. You either get a chest bump or a quick head nod. If that's not enough,...fukubytch.

I struggle to understand how people choose NOT to wash their hands. Just ugh! This nasty shyt runs rampant at my workplace. I can't tell you how many meetings I've been a part of where these triflin' mfs reach out and grab a slice of pizza, touching more than one slice just to get the one they want.

This place is full of "UGH Moments." Please read and adhere to the following rules.
  • If your throat hurts, you have chills, or you have a fever, stay the fukk home. Don't ask, "Does my head feel hot?" If it feels hot to you, then it's hot. Stay the fukk home.

  • Don't come to work sick and then start complaining that you're sick. That what sick leave is for. Use it. Go in the hole if you have to. Just don't infect those of us who aren't sick.

  • Don’t ask for my food, even after I’ve already started eating it, and try to offer up your own half eaten food in exchange, that’s how germs are exchanged. And yes, folks do that here. Just ugh.

  • Don't touch anything in the bathroom (the sink, toilet, knobs, handles, etc.) and then come out and touch me, food, my chair, my keyboard, etc. That's an azz whippin'.
Why does it take an outbreak of the swine flu to get mfs into being clean?? There's soap, water, hand sanitizer, and all kinds of shyt. Just know that I mean it with all honesty and sincerity when I say...

...WASH YOUR MF HANDS, BYTCH!!

14 comments:

crystal said...

lmao. yesssss. we have many nasty mfs at my job also. women are especially bad. these heffas will have their period, drip blood on the FLOOR & toilet AND leave that shyt right there. I mean... are you for real? Makes me wonder what their own homes look like. Not to mention takin a dump and NOT washing their hands. And they wonder WHY i use paper towels to open/close the bathroom doors.

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Anonymous said...

No comments about MJ's death, Lakers win, or summer time in the Nation's Capital?

Hmmmm, maybe you're somewhere being loved up and you aren't angry anymore! ;-)

Anonymous said...

So yeah, it's disgusting how people behave and the lack of hygiene but Cyrstal, what do you do with that paper towel once your done opening and closing doors? Someone in my office does the same thing and then throws the towel on the floor which is totally disgusting too.

crystal said...

What do I do with the paper towel once I'm done? I throw it in the MF trash where it belongs. that's common sense. At least to somebody like me. My house is clean, so I'm not going to go somewhere else and act like I've forgotten what to do.

Eddie Nicole said...

you're finally back. I've been searching for your funny ass blog since 2007. I kept into running some crazy site with peace and happiness on it.
anyway, I'm mad late, but happy to find you back on the scene.

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